Clearing

In the summer of 2017, I embarked upon a life-changing ‘process’ (I hesitate to use that term as it doesn’t really describe it well enough but I can’t use ‘journey’ – yikes!) because of an online course I found called “A Year to Clear”. But before I talk about what has happened since then, I really need to start with how I was feeling that summer.

I had reached a point as you can probably gather from this blog where my life felt stuck. I was stuck. I was divorced, living in a four bedroomed house, had my kids and a cat but the house felt crammed to the rafters with stuff. I was suffocating. I tried car boot sales and moving things into the garage to create space but it still felt all wrong. So I knew things had to change.

I dreamt of clear spaces, a capsule wardrobe (I had heard of such a thing.. probably on social media!) but my nature was to keep things ‘just in case’ and I knew that I had to make a start. I also longed for a more interesting, but simple life having seen the possibilities on my frequent trips to Spain. I wanted more time for my hobbies, for lifelong learning and I wanted time to think and breathe. I felt like that hamster on the wheel, going around and around. Time to get off.

Then one day I was looking through my phone and saw this online course which promised to guide the participant through the process of de-cluttering their lives day by day through inspirational quotes, guided talks and some process. I really had no better answer so I thought I would give it a try and signed up.

At first, it was really difficult. I was encouraged to identify a place in my home (as small or as big as I was comfortable with) and clear it – throw things away, create empty spaces in rooms, cupboards etc. and despite feelings of discomfort; I began. Some activities were easier than others but over the next year, I filled about six skips, took carloads of stuff to the dump and gave away almost every piece of furniture I owned. In fact I only kept a mirror and a blanket box because I really loved them. I kept most of my pictures even though I really don’t need or want many of them and maybe in the future I can find a solution to that too, but otherwise I kept nothing.

With my wardrobe, I first halved it, then halved it again. I next took on the principle that if it was more than two years old and I hadn’t worn it in the past year – it was history. In 90% of cases that rule has stayed true. I still have a fair amount of clothing but much less than before. I know I could actually manage with even less, so the process there is ongoing.

So when I moved to Denmark, I moved with only 14 boxes. That represented my life – all my possessions and they were boxes that could be lifted by one person. That is all I had in August 2018, but even then four of them went up into the loft, which kind of indicated that I wasn’t finished clearing. In January 2019, I halved that and now I only have two up there (those pictures again!)

So how has this changed me? Do I feel calmer, more relaxed, more settled? In part yes. It is easier to keep my environment clear and that does lead to a more relaxed and settled mind, but I miss having some of my special things around me. I think I have gone beyond clear and ended up with empty. So I need to find a new balance. Again. I think I have realized that sometimes having some familiar things around provides its own comfort but I also know that I don’t want to accumulate stuff again for no reason. So I will continue to clear, recycle and throw away. It is healthier and has made me happier.

So happy clearing folks. 🙂